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Develop Your Personal Power: Stop Complaining

Personal power is empowerment, it is you on turbo, including your confidence, your ability to take action in reaching for all that you want and deserve and the ability to protect yourself at all costs.

Blaming others for your emotions gives them power and takes it from you. Spending time thinking about and ruminating over setbacks and failures is not productive. Instead of wasting your time complaining about life, which is robbing you of your personal power, why not do something more productive that increases your personal courage?

Why Complaining Does Not Help

When you complain, you are finding fault, either with someone else, with the world in general, or with yourself. When you are consistently complaining, you drain your life of all the positive energy. You affect your mood in negative ways, and you fall into a perpetual cycle of negativity, sadness, and frustration.

Complaining is a form of relinquishing your personal power to others, too. When you complain, you allow others to have control over how you are feeling about the situation. Your complaining is basically saying to the rest of the world, “I am helpless to do anything to change this situation.”

Complaining just saps you of your mental and emotional energy, which you need in order to solve your problem effectively. While occasionally letting out a little frustration is fine, continually complaining about the same thing does nothing to actively solve your problem or make the situation any better.

What to Do Instead of Complaining

In life, there are always going to be situations, people, and factors that you cannot control. What you can control about anything in life is how you manage yourself and your emotional response to what is happening around you.

When you find yourself complaining, the first thing to do is ask yourself, “Am I complaining about something specific, or are my gripes just general grumbling?” If you have a specific issue, then you have a direction to start looking for solutions. If you are just griping about the weather, move on.

Are you complaining about the same things consistently? You may be seeking attention or notice from others rather than genuinely have a problem to solve. What are the real roots for your complaints? Are you feeling anxious and therefore want to be prepared for something you think is coming? Or are you needing validation for your hard work? Really dig into those reasons.

Next, pay attention to the words you are using to complain. Are you claiming to be a victim of a situation? “I had to.” Or are you engaging in defeatist rhetoric? “Nothing ever works out for me.” These are signals you need to reframe your thinking and how you are interpreting your situation. What can you control about this situation? This is where you should start looking for solutions.

Remember that only you can make yourself feel a certain way. Others are not responsible for your emotions, so you can’t blame anyone for how you feel except yourself. If you want to feel more in control of your emotions, start by naming them. This will help you understand what you are feeling, which can help you control them more fully.

Be kind to yourself and work on your reactions in a more productive, healthy way. Do not judge yourself for your past complaints. Instead, acknowledge that you now know this is not healthy and you need to find new ways of coping with disappointment.

Final Thoughts

Complaining is something most of us do all the time without much thought. But, when you realize that complaints are relinquishing your personal power and robbing you of the ability to solve your problems, you can see why it is important to stop complaining and start acting.

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